As a gainer, sometimes it felt like the bigger you got, the more attention you got—that you were only ‘somebody’ if you were fat.  I’ve learned, though, that’s not necessarily the case.  Sure, this is a pretty appearance-focused community by nature, but there is such a variety of tastes out there—from the ‘first 20 pounds’ look, to the ‘never big enough’ fans—that looks and size alone won’t determine how many friends you can make. 

The most important thing is to be active in making friends and acquaintances.  It’s easy to think that really handsome, big guys can just post a photo and suddenly they’re inundated with friend requests and such, but unless you’re only after fleeting compliments you’d be disappointment.  Genuine friendships are not formed that way.  The more you show your dedication to gaining, your involvement in the community and that you’re a genuinely good person, the more welcome and appreciated you’ll feel.

This is a growing community, and like any big community, it’s hard to stand out.  You have to take the active role if you’re new.  Search out guys that you admire or find attractive or share a common goal with, and send them a message!  You may not get a reply from everyone, but I think you’ll be surprised how many connections you can make.

This is a horrible answer, but not much has.  I was so obsessed with every aspect of gaining before I really got going that I fantasized about just about everything.  Combined with all the chatting I did with bigger guys asking them about everything I could think of, I guess I prepared myself pretty well.

That being said, I think the thing that’s surprised me the most is the amount of attention I’m getting online.  It’s honestly a bit of a struggle to not overindulge in all of this, and I desperately want to avoid comings off as a big-headed egotistical jerk (though that’s already too late for some people, it seems). 

The amount of support I’ve gotten has really boosted my motivation and is probably the prime reason I’ve gotten as far as I have.  I am in debt to this community, and I like to answer questions like these as a way of repaying that debt—if only as a start.

I think I like the idea more than when it actually happens.  I have a lot of old clothes that I’ve kept over the years as I move up sizes, and I like trying them on to give me a good sense of progress.  Breaking seams and popping buttons is fun when I’m at home, but if it happened at work I’d be more embarrassed than proud (but still proud, don’t get me wrong).

I just had to switch out chairs at work because mine was feeling the wear.  I don’t know if it was just because it’s cheap or because of my butt.  (Side note, did you know that most office chairs are only rated for 225lbs?  Madness!)  All I know is my stingy boss won’t be too happy when I’ll need to request a Big & Tall chair—those things are overpriced!

The key isn’t how often you eat, it’s just about putting in more than you burn.  Some guys eat 3 huge meals a day, others graze all day long and are never really hungry.  You’ll quickly find which strategy works best for you either way, but if you can keep up the habit of always having a full stomach, more power to you.

In that vein, ‘healthy’ low-calorie foods like fruits and vegetables won’t hinder your progress as long as you stick to that same rule—at the end of the day, make sure your calories in exceed your calories out.  It may be that eating vegetables in place of junk food doesn’t grant you nearly the same amount of calories and make your progress slow down relative to just eating junk, but you won’t be able to survive solely on junk for long before you start to feel it health-wise.  Even if it means missing out on a handful of calories a day, it’s worth doing for your long-term progress and health.

People noticing is subjective, but some people will notice right away.  Whether they say something right away too is another story, thankfully.

That is a very good question, and I wish I knew.  Your theory about the tape measure sounds like the nail on the head, though.  I don’t have anything clever to say, I just wanted to share this!

140lbs versus 310lbs

Please forgive all the camwhoring, but I’m having a blast with my new weight.  Decided to attempt (poorly!) to recreate some of my oldest photos for fun.  These were literally the first pictures I took and sent to my boyfriend when we first met. 

…I thought I was being sexy at the time, shut up.

I guess now’s as good a time as any for an update!

Stat | Weight | Change from July 2011
• Weight | 306 | up 35 pounds
• Chest | 53” | up 3 inches
• Arms | 18.8” | up 1.3 inches
• Pant Size | 46±2 | up one size
  
• Belly | 56” (59” sitting) | up 5 inches
• Thighs | 32” | up 3 inches
• Calves | 20.5” | up 1.5 inches
• Forearms | 14.5” | up 1 inch
• Neck | 20” | no change (sadface)

Two things that make me really excited right away:

1. Each of my thighs are officially as thick as my waist used to be back at 140lbs!  I will always remember how frustrated I was always seeing 32” when I measured.  People complimenting my legs has gotten me addicted to making them bigger, and I’m glad to see results!

2. I’m so close to the magical 60” measurement for bellies!  A 60 inch gut is equivalent to 18 inch arms for a bodybuilder—something that signifies you’ve put in a lot of work, and the bigger guys start to respect you.  You definitely start to stand out.

Also, self-measuring is very difficult when you have a cat who considers any dangling thing to be a toy!

Patience is my advice for hard gainers.  You will grow out of your high metabolism eventually, and it’s not worth the effort and time required to try and gain when your body just won’t let you.

I know it’s easy to get desperate, but do not fall for pills or anything that promise you will gain weight.  There are a lot of products out there that promise a cure for hard gainers, and they are all bunk.  I looked into a lot of strange supplements when I was smaller, and I regret wasting what money I did spend on such stuff.

It took me nearly five years to go from 140 to 280, and that was actually pretty quick for a hard gainer.  Keep your goals realistic, don’t let scammers build your hopes up and steal your money.

I only own that one shirt, if I’m honest.

Really though, I’ve never had a diverse wardrobe—probably because I don’t go out very often.  I have no real qualms about wearing sweatpants and hoodies for the rest of my life if that was my only option.

That being said, yes good clothes are a bugger to find now.  All of the stores I used to frequent don’t have Big & Tall sections, and there is literally only one Big & Tall store within a 20 minute drive from my place.  The store is overpriced nonsense anyway, but I go to make sure something fits, and then order it online from somewhere else.

I know a lot of guys who dread giving up their fashion sense for a bigger body (we are gay, afterall), so don’t let me scare you.  It’s difficult, but not impossible to look good.  I’m afraid I’m just not the best person to ask.

Also, I’m gonna wedge this aside into this question because it’s somewhat relevant:
I’ve already shared my one secret for clothes-shopping here, but here’s another: when getting dress shirts, don’t let anyone determine your size for you.  They assess your size by your neck circumference (and your arm length, which you can thankfully trust), but if you go by that as a big dude, you’ll end up with a bed sheet draped over you.  I wear a 18.5” neck shirt, even though my neck is 20 inches thick, but it fits perfectly—I’ll just never be able to button the top button, ever.

If I learn or discover more tips, I’ll be sure to post about it!

I’m assuming the underlying question for this one is ‘is he wierded out by the shit you draw?’ because I get that question a lot (curiously!).

My boyfriend and I actually met through my drawings all those years ago, so he’s my biggest fan (I like to think).  We don’t share all of the same kinks—he much prefers my muscle things because that’s his thing—but I don’t think I’ve drawn anything too strange for him… yet.

This is embarrassing, but this, uh, situation is actually the thing I never expected to like as much as I do.  I used to be a massive size queen (and still am, from time to time), and I honestly kind of dreaded this side effect at first.

There’s just something about it that I can’t describe (at least without getting into an uncomfortable amount of detail), but to answer your question: yes.  And I love it.

Not quite yet, but certainly more than before.  I certainly wouldn’t mind having one, though, some guys pull it off so well.

I don’t think gaining would necessitate a larger shoe size, but the added pressure may cause your feet to thicken/widen, which may make shoes feel tighter unless you get a wider style shoe.  I haven’t had this problem yet, though, so I imagine it would take a lot of extra weight.

Not too much differently, honestly.  It really was only 5 pounds, so hard to tell!

Then again, I have snuck past 300 rather quickly, and it all came in a big wave, suddenly my feet and back are giving my problems.  I feel like a pregnant woman.

I’d love to keep this pace up, but I need to give my body a chance to adjust as well… it’s conflicting.

Hit 300 pounds recently!  Took some new pictures to celebrate, but without my usual camwhoring mirrors, I was at a bit of a loss.  I’ll figure something out!