Anonymous asked: I'm 16 and am confused about my sexuality, so I was thinking you might be able to help me. I understand and want to be involved in gaining, but for me it just doesn't add up to be with another guy. When I see a large man I do get turned on yet I never can see myself with him in rl and having a relationship, romantically or sexually. If I imagine the other guy encouraging me, it seems fine except for when his dick comes out, which I can't stand. So is it just a fetish, or is this still being gay?
At your age, I was still figuring things out as well. Give yourself some time.
My gut reaction, from your description, is that you’re turned on by a big guy because that’s what you want to be, not necessarily because you want to have sex with him.
The reason I think that is because I feel the same sort of way, about big guys. While I am a homosexual, when I lust after a big guy, it’s almost always primarily in the context of thinking about having his body—how it feels, what I would do with it, that sort of thing. That stuff turns me on like crazy, more so than the thought of having sex with the person. What I fantasize about in terms of intercourse is pretty different.
This is just my theory, take it for what you will. Rest assured that gaining isn’t strictly a homosexual thing. There is an equivalent community for straight folks, they just typically use different terms (feeder/feedee, bhm, etc). Seek some insight from those communities and see what your gut tells you.